


...Then You Will Be Alone

by boltschick2612



Series: When The Madness Stops... [6]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Break Up, Established Relationship, M/M, Tampa Bay Lightning, Trade Deadline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-26 06:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/647456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boltschick2612/pseuds/boltschick2612
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One door closes, another re-opens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	...Then You Will Be Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Game dates, and the part about a flu working its way through the Lightning team are true. Nothing else is.

January 13th, 2012

 

Somewhere in the back of Teddy's mind, he knew he was laying in bed. He registered the fact that it wasn't his own bed, and that someone was sharing it with him. His brain knew it was far to early to hold onto any coherent thoughts, but it also knew that it was time to shift into gear and wake up. The realization of where they were...Washington, for a road game...flicked across his mind seconds before he decided it was time for his body to listen to what his mind was trying to tell him.

The first sight that Teddy saw when he reluctantly opened his eyes was the intense blue ocean of Matt's eyes staring back at him. When his mind cleared a little of the cobwebs away and his vision focused, he noticed Matt was smiling at him, and that he was surprisingly awake. Teddy's voice escaped him in a groggy croak. "How long have you been up?"

The smile on Matt's face widened. "Oh, I dunno. Ten minutes?"

Teddy reached out and brushed a strand of Matt's dark blond hair from his eyes before planting a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Have you been laying there watching me sleep?"

"I can't help it, you look so peaceful. Did you know you smile in your sleep?" Matt murmured while creeping his body closer to Teddy's in the bed. 

Teddy ran this thumb along the soft skin of Matt's lips, letting his mind go to all the times in the past when his own lips had been pressed there, and he couldn't help but put on a smile of his own. "Only since I met you."

Teddy replaced the touch of his fingers with the touch of his lips, pressed lazily against Matt's, his body lacking any real energy. Matt, however, seemed to have energy in abundance as he took Teddy's lower lip in between his teeth, biting gently and eliciting a moan that Teddy was barely awake enough to produce. 

Some signs of life started to seep into Teddy's body, prompting him to return Matt's kiss with fervor. He was just about to reach up and weave his fingers through Matt's hair when the alarm on his phone sounded, signaling that it was time to roll out of bed and get ready for morning skate. Teddy rolled his eyes in frustration and crawled out of the warm, comfortable bed. As he slowly walked towards the bathroom, Teddy let a string of curse words run through his mind, and he knew it was going to be a long day.

 

                                                                                               -X-

 

Teddy was standing under the shower head, closing his eyes and letting the hot water pour over him. His mind was running through the same thing it had been for weeks, the same thing he focused on every time he closed his eyes. He couldn't lay in bed at night or have a quiet moment to himself lately without thinking about the night in Montreal when he had shared himself with Matt and Nate. That night was supposed to serve to make things easier, but all it seemed to do was make things far more complicated. 

At first, Teddy was happy that he and Nate had reconnected as friends, but the intimate reconnection he felt with Nate that night was something he couldn't shake, and it had him more confused than ever. It felt as if he was having to decide who was more ingrained in his soul, and he knew that it was unfair to everyone involved. He knew he couldn't go on giving Matt less than his whole being, yet he also knew that, in a way, that was what he had been doing all along. Teddy never realised until that moment that he had always held a little part of himself back and hid it away, because he thought it belonged to Nate. It didn't help matters that Nate had been disconnected and distant since they arrived back from Montreal, even more so than before.

Teddy was so deep in thought that he almost didn't hear the bathroom door open. The cold draft that flowed into the room and the sound of footsteps were really the first clue to Teddy that he wasn't alone.

"Couldn't resist, eh?"

No answer.

"Matt?"

Teddy pulled back the shower curtain slightly and the look of confusion he had been displaying turned to one of shock when he came face to face with Nate.

"Matt usually take showers with you?" Nate asked. The fact that Nate was asking Teddy about what he does with his own boyfriend, as if it was any of his business, was almost comical. Nate's tone of voice, however, was not. The only thing more evident than the jealously in his voice was the jealousy in his eyes.

Teddy hastily grabbed the side of the shower curtain and used it to cover his body. He figured that it was probably silly to try and hide his naked form from Nate after all that they have done and been through, especially lately, but in Teddy's mind the days of Nate having any right to view him in such a way were over.

"What are you doing? How did you get in here?" Teddy said, his voice elevated, completely ignoring Nate's question. 

"Your boyfriend wasn't around. The door was unlocked," Nate said, sneering around the word 'boyfriend'.

"I thought we came to an understanding. I thought everything was fine between us...between all of us," Teddy said, the water still beating on his skin. Somewhere in the back of his mind Teddy was wondering where Matt was, because last he knew, he was still asleep in their bed.

"I need to talk to you....I miss you. I can't be without you. All that night did was make me realize how much I love you. How much I need you," Nate said, his tone of voice changing from one of anger and jealousy to one of longing. Everything, why Nate had been so distant lately, was all explained to Teddy in that one sentence.

"Nate, we can talk about this later.....but right now you need to leave." 

Teddy stepped from the shower and grabbed a towel, hastily wrapping it around his waist. He stopped in front of the door and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the cold steel of the door and collecting all his mental strength. He opened his mouth to speak, to tell Nate that the conversation would have to wait, but was stopped cold when he felt the sensation of Nate kissing the back of his neck. He relished in the feeling of Nate's lips on his bare skin for a few seconds, even closing his eyes and letting out a small deep throated moan. He felt the familiar lips brush over the still wet skin of his shoulder, and the fingers rake through his dark hair. 

Something inside Teddy snapped,  bringing him to his senses. He spun around and fixed his eyes with Nate's, staring at him across the suddenly all too quiet space that hung between them. After a few seconds, Teddy let out the breath that he forgot he was even holding, and started to speak. He let his eyes slide closed as he reached deep inside for all the strength he possessed, but rarely showed.

"I loved you, Nate. Part of me still does. I meant it when I said that you were etched in my heart, that can never be undone. But I can't keep doing this to myself, can't keep going through the uncertainty. I deserve better, and if you love me as much as you say you do, you'll know that I deserve better too. You'll want what's best for me."

Teddy watched the storm play out in Nate's eyes. Love was the first to show in his dark orbs, followed by anger, followed finally by jealousy. "And what's best for you is Matt..."

Teddy really wasn't sure what kind of answer he could give to that, and it was clear that Nate really wasn't looking for one. He wasn't really asking a question, he was making a statement, albeit reluctantly. Nate looked down at the floor, trying to hide the look in his eyes. "Do you love him?"

Teddy may have been uncertain about a lot of things lately, but this wasn't one of them, and he answered without hesitation. "Yes. And more importantly, I  _know_  that he loves me. I  _know_ that I can count on him, and I  _know_  that he'll never let me down."

Nate shot his gaze back up to look at Teddy, and realization played across his face. Seconds later, his eyes fell back to the floor and his throat clenched around the sobs that are threatening to break their way out of him. "And you can't do that with me...."

"...Nate.." Teddy started to say, trying to find a way to explain to Nate what he was feeling, why he needed to do this, why he needed to release himself from the things that have tied him down for too long.

Nate reached behind Teddy and grabbed for the doorknob. "No. Message received. Loud and clear."

Teddy stepped aside as Nate angrily swung open the bathroom door and stormed out of the hotel room. He spun around to see Nate charge past Matt, who had been standing by the bed, two coffees in hand and mouth open in shock. Nate was gone for almost a minute before either of them moved, before Teddy slowly crept out of the bathroom and stopped in front of where Matt was standing. "I went to get us coffee," Matt said absentmindedly, fully aware that coffee was the least of anyone's worries.

"How much did you hear?" Teddy asked, gently trailing his fingers up and down Matt's arms. He rested his head against Matt's shoulder, sighing heavily and closing his eyes, wishing for the whole world to just disappear.

"Enough to know that you made the right choice."

Teddy shot his gaze up to meet Matt's, hope and relief briefly playing across his face before it was replaced by something else. The events of only a few moments earlier sprang into Teddy's mind, and shame burned in his chest and became evident on his face. He sheepishly spoke to Matt with his eyes fixed on the floor, unable to look him in the face.  "Earlier...just now..." Teddy started to say, trying to find the right words to explain something that he didn't even want to say. "When Nate was just here, he kissed me....."

Teddy knew that there was more to it than just that. He knew he couldn't pretend any longer that things were just that simple. "....And I let him. I didn't stop him. Not at first, anyways."

He rested his head against Matt's shoulder again, and waited. He waited for the yelling, the throwing of things, the outburst of anger. It never came. Instead, Matt reached up and ran a finger along his jawline and lifted Teddy's chin until their eyes met. "I'm not mad."

The questioning look in Teddy's eyes made Matt feel as if he had to explain further. "After what we did in Montreal, seems silly to be mad over something like that."

"That was different, that wasn't behind your back."

Now Matt was the one left feeling guilty. "I should have known that night would just confuse everything. You tried to tell me, and I didn't listen."

Teddy planted a small kiss on Matt's forehead before pulling away, his soulful brown eyes sending Matt a pleading look. "Tell me that we're going to be together.....forever."

Matt wanted to tell him "forever", but he knew that "forever" just didn't exist in the NHL. Matt wasn't like Vinny or Marty. The chances of him ending his career in a Lightning sweater were slim to none, and he knew it. Part of him thought that Teddy knew it too, but when he looked into Teddy's eyes and saw the desperation they held....the desperation for something stable, something true to count on....he knew that there was only one right answer.

"Forever."

 

February 27th, 2012

 

The sun beat on Teddy's shoulders as he sat at the table, looking over the menu and trying to decide what to order. Usually he didn't like sitting on the outside patio at restaurants, but the weather was nice enough, and Matt and Steven had out-voted him on the matter anyhow. Earlier in the afternoon, in an attempt to cheer Steven up,  Matt had invited him out to lunch, and he told Steven that he wasn't going to take "no" for an answer. Ever since he had lost his closest friend via a trade to Colorado, exactly a week prior, Steven had been withdrawn and it wasn't a secret to anyone that the only time he left his house was for practice or games. Everyone knew that Stamkos and Downie were close, and it was clear just how bad the trade was affecting Steven. He would say that it was just the nature of the business, or that it was the team's own fault for not playing the way they needed to from the start, but everyone saw the hurt underneath his words. Matt thought his brilliant idea of dragging the team's super star out to lunch with them would be just what he needed to break out of the rut he had been wallowing in, and Teddy was more than a little inclined to agree with him. 

But right now, Teddy was the one who was wishing he had never left the house. His eyes scanned the words on the menu, but it might as well been in a foreign language, he just couldn't concentrate enough to make sense of any of it. He had woken up with a slight headache that by this time had progressed into a full blown migraine, and his cheeks were slightly flushed. He had arrived to the restaurant starving, but his appetite had quickly vanished and had been replaced with a wave of nausea. He was just about to set down the menu, close his eyes and point to something in order to make his meal choice when Steven's voice broke through his thoughts.

"I really appreciate you guys dragging me out. I guess I've been spending too much time alone."

Matt chuckled and slapped Steven on the shoulder, slightly pushing him in joking manner. "We know. We were about to resort to drastic measures...get you a hooker or something."

A smile broke across Steven's face and he pushed Matt's hand away, returning his jovial banter. "And what makes you think I need to pay someone to get laid?"

Steven's question went unanswered as Matt shot his gaze across the table, noticing Teddy and how pale and miserable he looked. He reached across the table and gently lay his hand on Teddy's shoulder, momentarily slipping into boyfriend mode, but doing his best not to make it obvious. "You alright, Teddy? You don't look good."

Teddy absentmindedly scratched at his forehead, his fingertips catching the heat that was emanating from his skin. "I'm fine. Just think I'm coming down with something."

Matt moved his hand from Teddy's shoulder to his cheek. "You have a fever? Feels like you do."

"No, it's just hot out here is all," Teddy said, but he wasn't all that convinced in his own words.

"You know, I bet you caught something from Commie. He was sick the whole plane ride home from New Jersey, and those planes are like flying germ factories," Steven said, looking at Teddy with concern evident on his face. "Do you want to leave?"

Teddy was just about to tell them both that he would be fine and that there was no need to leave, really, when Matt's phone rang in his pocket. Teddy watched, raising an eyebrow and letting an inquisitive look play on his face, as Matt fished the phone out of his pocket and excused himself from the table to take the call. Teddy rested his head in his hands and wished that the horrible headache would just leave him alone, and in the corner of his mind he could hear Steven drabble on about some new equipment he just bought or some damn thing. His gaze shot up again when he heard the foot steps of Matt approaching the table, and his voice directed at Steven. 

"Can you take Teddy home for me, Stammer? I gotta bail."

Teddy looked at Matt with concern, wondering what could be so dire that he had to leave their lunch before it had even started. "Everything alright?"

Matt shifted his gaze around the patio, looking everywhere but at Teddy. "Yeah, just gotta go into the Forum. They need me to re-shoot some video for the 'Community Hero' segment. It's supposed to air at tomorrow's game, so they're pretty antsy about it. Guess that's what I get for procrastinating..." 

Matt really hated lying to Teddy, especially about something so important, but he knew there was no way he could look Teddy in the eyes and tell him something like this. There was no way he could face him and break his heart, not after everything he had been through.

 

                                                                                                     -X-

 

Matt leaned against his car, trying to put off the inevitable. Teddy had walked with him to his car, leaving Steven waiting for him in the far corner of the parking lot where his own car was. Matt darted his eyes around the almost empty space of the parking lot, making sure that there were no eyes watching him. He reached up and brushed his thumb along Teddy's lips, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. "Take care of yourself, Teddy. You need to rest."

Teddy covered Matt's hand with his own, relishing in the sensation of his touch. "Well, you're coming over after you're done at the Forum, right?"

Damn it if Teddy wasn't making things as hard on Matt as possible. He wanted to break down, hold Teddy close to him, tell him the truth, and beg him to let them have one last night together. He couldn't though, because if he did....

If he did what he  _wanted_  to do instead of what he  _had_  to do....

Matt bit at his lower lip, trying to keep his mind and emotions in check. He let his hand fall away from Teddy's face, and gently placed it on his shoulder instead. "You better get going, Stammer is waiting for you."

As Teddy slowly walked across the parking lot, scuffing his shoes over the loose gravel, he turned his head back to get one last look at Matt, only to see that he was still standing there, leaning against his car and watching him in return. Teddy had a feeling gnawing away at the pit of his stomach, a feeling that the 'goodbye' he had just shared with Matt wasn't 'goodbye' for only a few hours, but 'goodbye' forever.

 

                                                                                                     -X- 

 

Teddy slowly opened his eyes, his head was still pounding, and the shrill chirp of his phone's text message notification was only serving to make it worse. After Steven had dropped Teddy off at his place, Teddy shuffled inside and went straight for the comfort of his couch, not even taking the time to kick off his shoes before laying down. He had fallen asleep the second his head hit the chenille throw pillow, but the nap had done nothing in the way of helping him feel better. He slowly reached down to retrieve his phone off the floor, every movement causing pain searing throughout his body, and unlocked the screen to see that he had received at least half a dozen text messages while he was asleep. His heart started to pound and his mouth went dry as he ran through all the possibilities in his mind, it was unusual for him to have this many messages in this short amount of time. Something must have happened.  He scrolled through the messages.

There was one from Bugsy;  **Hey man....sorry.**

One from Steven;  **Did you know about this earlier?**

One from Vinny;  **I'm sorry, stuff like this has to happen sometimes.**

Another one from Steven;  **I'm on my way over.**

There was none from Matt, and none from Nate. Teddy was about to reply to one of the texts...any of them, really...and ask just what the hell everyone was talking about. Then it dawned on him what day it was. Trade Deadline. Instead of responding to one of the many texts he received, Teddy opened a new one, addressed to Matt. His fingers hovered over the touchscreen, searching for the right words, trying his best not to let his anger take over. He finally found the words, his fingers typed them out, and he pushed 'send'.

**You knew at lunch that you've been traded, didn't you? That's what the call was about?**

He waited, heart pounding, pulse racing. He wasn't sure what kind of response he was going to get from Matt, if any at all. He knew he had to keep his anger under wraps until he had heard Matt's side of things, heard why he had kept something like this secret. The text notification sounded, once again sending Teddy's headache into full swing.

_**I'm sorry, Teddy.** _

As angry as Teddy thought he had been, simply seeing those words and imagining Matt saying them to him as he looked him in the eyes, managed to dispel the fury some. But he still had to know why Matt had decided to forgo a proper goodbye.

**Why didn't you say goodbye? I would have liked to hold you one last time...**

_**Honestly? If I had to be with you one last time, I probably wouldn't have reported to Ottawa. You have a little piece of my heart, Teddy. But your whole heart belonged to someone else before I ever met you. Sometimes love means having to sacrifice what you want so that the other person can be happy.** _

Any hint of anger that Teddy held vanished when he read Matt's words. He pushed the sobs down, tried to keep them from escaping him. He closed his eyes and let Matt's words run through his consciousness.  _Your whole heart belonged to someone else before I ever met you._

His eyes flew open again as the chirp sounded from his phone, signaling to him that Matt wasn't done with what he had to say.

_**Don't let him break your heart again, ok? If not for yourself, then do it for me. You need to remind Nate how wonderful you are and how lucky he is to have you. Or I will.** _

**What makes you think I would go back to him?**

_**I saw it in your eyes. In Montreal. He's written all over you, in your heart. When I look at you across the ice on March 6th, you better have a smile on your face, and it better be because of him.** _

_He's written all over you, in your heart_. The words echo through Teddy's mind, as clear as if Matt was there next to him, speaking those words himself. He noticed that Matt had already looked at the schedule to see when the Senators were going to be in Tampa, and he can't help but look forward to that day, just a little.

Teddy was shaken from his thoughts by a knock on the front door, presumably Steven stopping by, as promised. He willed all of his strength to move, to get off the couch and shuffle over to the front door. In all the events of the last few minutes, Teddy had ignored that fact that the illness he felt earlier was becoming amplified, but he was fully aware of it now. Every muscle ached, his stomach churned, his skin was on fire. The fever that Teddy tried to deny at lunch was wreaking havoc on his body.

He slowly opened the door, the sight of Steven greeting him on the other side. He stepped aside and motioned for Steven to enter, which he did with a look of sadness written all over his face. Teddy followed Steven into the living room, where he threw his sick body onto the soft couch, then motioned for Steven to take the chair on the opposite side of the room. He didn't sit just yet, instead he pulled a yellow Gatorade out of a shopping bag that Teddy's fevered brain had caused him to miss, and handed it to the man who lay in a cold sweat on the couch. "That's the flu if ever I saw it, Teddy."

Teddy suspiciously eyed the bottle that was being held out to him, not reaching to take it. Steven cocked an eyebrow and gave Teddy a suspicious look of his own. "What? My mom always got me yellow Gatorade when I was sick," Steven said, setting the bottle down on the floor and moving to the chair that was offered to him earlier. Teddy watched him settle into the leather chair before opening his mouth to speak, his voice horse and throat sore.

"You didn't come just to bring me yellow Gatorade...."

Steven nervously shifted in the chair. "No. I came because you're my friend, and if there's one thing I've discovered lately, it's that friends can be the only thing to save you."

Teddy closed his eyes, speaking to Steven, but not looking at him. The light was hurting his eyes, and moreover, he didn't want Steven to see how bad Matt's trade was affecting him, even if he was the one person on earth that could understand what he was going through right now. "What did you do? When Downs got traded...how did you handle it?"

Everyone on the team already knew part of the answer to that question. He had hid himself away in his house, sheltered from the world. What Teddy wanted to know was the part that the team didn't see. He wanted to know the emotional toll it had taken, and how Steven had managed to keep himself together. He wanted to know what his future held. He heard the sounds of Steven restlessly shifting in the chair again, then the sounds of him clearing his throat to speak. "You really want to know?"

Teddy didn't really utter any words, more he let out a noncommittal grunt, with his eyes still closed, listening to the whole conversation play out. Steven's voice filled the air once more. "Fine, but if you tell anyone, I'll duct tape your gear to the locker room ceiling...with you still in it."

Teddy let out a small laugh, it was all he was really capable of, at the imagined image of himself hanging from the ceiling of the locker room, held up by nothing more than duct tape. He let his laughter die down, and waited for Steven to continue, and when he finally did, Teddy was taken aback by how tiny and helpless his voice sounded. He didn't sound anything like the Steven that Teddy knew. "I cried. A lot."

Teddy finally opened his eyes and turned his body on the couch to lay on his side and look at Steven. "I haven't cried yet", Teddy confessed, wondering just a little if something was wrong with him, if somehow the part of his brain that was responsible for emotions had somehow become broken from overuse.

"You will, and when you least expect it. Something will remind you of him, or it'll happen the first time you have to walk into the locker room and see his empty stall. It might not happen right away...but it will."

Steven's words hung in the air, the room seeming all too quiet now. Neither one of them said anything for a few minutes, they both just reflected on how much their lives had changed over the last week, the last day.

The silence was broken by the sounds of Steven moving, getting up and walking over to the couch where Teddy lay. Teddy was finding it increasingly hard to keep his eyes open, and sleep was sounding like a better and better idea by the moment. He had all but dozed off when Steven spoke, jolting him from the haze. "Well, I'm gonna go, Purcie. I'm always here for you, don't ever forget that. You need anything before I leave?"

Teddy shot his gaze to where Steven was standing, hovering over him like an overbearing parent. He let a small smile of appreciation show on his face before he let his eyelids slide halfway closed again, heavy and tired. "No, thank you. I'll be fine. Just need some rest."

As soon as Teddy heard the sound of the front door closing behind Steven, he let sleep take him. Maybe, if he was lucky, he would wake up to find that it had all been just a bad dream.

 

 

  
February 28th, 2012

Teddy lay on his couch, squinting his eyes against blades of sunlight that were streaming in through his blinds and cutting a path straight to his overly sensitive eyes. He had finally stopped throwing up long enough to be able to leave the bathroom and shuffle over to the couch, but now he was regretting his choice not to shut the blinds before planting his body down onto the soft leather of the couch. Damn flu.

It had momentarily crossed Teddy's mind to call out for Matt to come shut the blinds for him, but the words died on his lips as soon as it dawned on him that he could call out Matt's name as loud as he liked, but there would be no tall handsome blond with piercing blue eyes coming to close the blinds against the blinding sun.

He was just about to say "to hell with it," and try to fall back to sleep when a pounding on the front door banished that idea. He briefly let a look of confusion play across his face. He wasn't expecting anyone, yet at the same time, he knew exactly who it was. He had never got up to lock the front door when Steven had left the night before, which was really for the better, because he lacked the energy to get up and let his guest in. He barely had the energy to yell towards the front door, but somehow he managed.  "It's open, Nate, come in."

The sounds of footsteps filled the air, and Teddy's heart started to race as the sound got closer and closer to where he was. The sight of Nate's face, the first time he had really seen him off the ice since the day in Washington when he ran out of the hotel room, caused a slight smile to break across Teddy's face. He could tell Nate was nervous, really unsure of what to say. He slowly walked to the couch and took a seat on the floor, right in front of where Teddy's head was laying on the soft chenille throw pillow. Nate reached out, his hands shaking, and brushed his fingertips across Teddy's lips. He finally found the words to say, and his voice filled the air, his fingertips never leaving Teddy's skin. "I'm so sorry about Matt. I'm sorry about Washington...about everything."

Nate desperately wanted to plant a small kiss on Teddy's lips, but he knew it just wasn't right, not right now. Teddy was held speechless, he instead took to wrapping his hand around Nate's, holding it against his lips and taking in the sensation of Nate's cool skin pressed to his fevered flesh. Teddy was fighting against a mixture of emotions, happiness batteling against sadness and loneliness. Nate's voice broke through his reverie, and the words were just what Teddy needed to hear.

"You don't need to say anything now. We don't have to talk. I came to take care of you. Just rest."

Teddy let the warmth wash over him, and his eyes slid closed, the last sight he held was Nate's eyes looking deeply into his.

 

                                                                                                    -X-

 

Teddy awoke to the sound of pots banging in his kitchen and the smell of cooking food permeating his nose. His sleep addled mind tried to make sense of what was going on. Last he remembered, Nate was sitting by his side as he drifted off to sleep. He sat up slightly, trying to crane his neck to see into the kitchen, only to discover that the illness had not yet decided to leave his body. He was just about to make an attempt to pry himself off the couch to go in search of Nate, when Nate walked into the living room, carrying something in a bowl. He saw Teddy and his eyes lit up, only to be followed by a  slight frown breaking across his face. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"It's really difficult to sleep when you feel like you've been hit by a truck, anyways. What's in the bowl?"

Nate sat on the arm of the couch, and handed Teddy the bowl that he had been carrying. "It's chicken noodle soup, made from scratch."

Teddy eyed Nate suspiciously, but took the bowl and inhaled deep, smelling the mixture of chicken and vegetables. He was surprised the the scent didn't make him nauseous, as just about everything did lately. "Since when did you cook?"

Nate let out a small chuckle and ran his fingers through Teddy's hair, causing him to close his eyes and relish in the sensation to the point where he almost didn't hear Nate's reply.

"It's my mom's recipe. I called her and asked her how to make it while you were sleeping....I told her it was for my Teddy."

Shock coursed through Teddy's system, and he probably would have dropped the hot bowl of soup in his lap if he had been less awake, something he owed to Nate's statement. " _Your_  Teddy?"

"Mm Hm," Nate hummed in affirmation, slowly raking his fingers through Teddy's dark hair, thinking about how he wanted to do so much more.

Teddy set the bowl down on the floor, right next to the bottle of Gatorade that Steven had give him the night before. He turned to look at Nate, look him straight in the eyes. "What else did you tell her?"

"Not much else  _to_   tell...yet. But she wanted to know why the hell she hadn't met you before."

Teddy reached up and grabbed Nate's hand, moving it from his hair and placing it to the hot skin of his lips, kissing the soft expanse of skin on the top of Nate's hand. Teddy knew that he couldn't quite let Matt out of his heart, not that easy. He really had loved Matt, and he knew that a small part or him always would. Matt had done so much for him, loved him and fixed him at a time when Teddy thought that he was beyond repair, and he would forever be grateful. But Matt also saw something that Teddy himself had failed to see, until now.

_He's written all over you, in your heart._

Nate's voice broke through Teddy's thoughts....thoughts of Matt, thoughts of the past...and the future.

"This time will be different, Teds. I promise."

Nate started to lay gentle kisses in Teddy's soft hair, and instantly Teddy knew that Nate didn't need to utter any promises, because deep down, he already believed him. Teddy already knew that this time was going to be different. 

Nate slid off the armrest of the couch and came to rest next to Teddy, wrapping his arms around him, holding him close. Teddy closed his eyes and rested his head on Nate's shoulder, taking in how good it all felt.

It felt like the promise of a new beginning.


End file.
